Land of Oz

Hometown hijinks

Update for Jan 24
It's interesting that the letter to the editor I sent has REALLY got people riled up. In the last couple of weeks since my letter appeared, there have been 4 letters that have singled me out by name to complain about me. If you're used to Editor's Letters, you'll know that attacks by name are pretty rare. It seems I've hit a sore spot :-)

Here's a diatribe of mine about a recent article in the local newspaper. I realize that the town being mentioned is doing this as some sort of founder's day promo, but the idea of passing a law making it mandatory to wear a beard just rubs me the wrong way. The article did mention exact numbers of adult males based on recent census reports who would be affected by the law and that they would have to report to be examined before they could take part in this event. I imagine they'll probably be photographed and fingerprinted to make sure no one cheats with their beard. Korans, I'm sure will be optional. Anyway, I fired off a letter to the editor of the newspaper in question, so we'll see if I can rain on a small village's parade. Here's the letter I sent:

The last thing we need is more laws regulating our private lives. I've never met any officials from Zilwaukee (in fact I'm not even quite sure where it begins and ends) but I'm going to assume they have good intentions. What I'm talking about, of course, is their plan to make a law requiring beards to be worn by their adult males. Isn't that a little intrusive? They are even using census records to identify all who may fall under this law. Failure to follow the law will only result in a minor fine, but that would also seem to result in a permanent police record of illegal activities.

This type of law brings to mind another place that has (or had actually) a similar law on the books. The Taliban in Afghanistan (and I'm not too sure where that begins and ends either) also required its adult males to wear beards. They had a special police force whose job it was to enforce that and similar laws.

It's not really my intention to compare Zilwaukee to Afghanistan. (I'm not sure which would disapprove more, actually.) It is however my intention to make a point that I'm really tired of the government intruding into my life in places it doesn't belong. Whether it's trying to tell me how long my hair can be, who I can or can't marry, or if I can carry around an almanac without fear of being questioned by the FBI, or if I can or can't have a nativity scene in my front yard, the government is getting its red-tape encrusted hands too deep into my private life. Don't tread on me!

2fers: Zilwaukee Stats and Taliban

Hockey as "sport"

Let me get this out right off the bat. I hate hockey because of all the fighting. No one has ever given me a good reason why it's condoned. It's not because hockey is violent. Ever watch a NFL football game? Think them guys are a bunch of wimps? I doubt there's a NFL game that goes by where someone isn't seriously hurt by a legitimate play. But let a player swing at another or god forbid, touch a ref, and if not history, he's good for 15 yards at least and most probably a fine later. Two hockey players swing and the refs hold their sticks for them while they go at it.

Don't get me wrong. Hockey players are skilled athletes. The way they swarm around the ice and handle the puck are admirable skills. Beating each other senseless isn't. I can't believe the sport of hockey would lose anything if fighting was outlawed. Take a glove off, and you're out of the game and the other team gets to shoot one on one with the goalie.

And if hockey players/fans really need the violence to make it a game, require the players to play without protective gear. With the puck and sticks and razor sharp skates flying around there'd soon be enough blood to keep everyone happy.

From what I understand, fighting isn't tolerated on college or younger teams. At what age or skill level does beating someone up become acceptable?

2fers: National Hockey League and Rassling

Almanacs + heads up = terrorist

It seems not that many years ago, when I read in disbelief that the Soviet Union wouldn't let its citizens read maps. I couldn't help but wonder how a government that was that controlling got into power and just how frightening it sounded. I love to read. I have books laying around everywhere -- oops - I allegedly have books laying around everywhere.

I also look around. I want to see what is happening around me. Is the house next door burning down? Has a new store gone up on the corner a few blocks away? Did the neighborhood gas station really dig up their underground tanks? (It helps to know before I drive in to fill up)

If you put those two characteristics of me together, according to the FBI, I'm a good suspect for being a terrorist! Here's one of many links to the article. Here's part of a quote from it:

The FBI is warning police nationwide to be alert for people
carrying almanacs, cautioning that the popular reference
books covering everything from abbreviations to weather
trends could be used for terrorist planning. ...

...The Associated Press obtained a copy of the bulletin this week
and verified its authenticity.

Is that frightening or what? Right now my alleged drug smoking neighbors are in their garage with about 20 other folks running around, cars parked across two blocks of streets, awake at all hours of the night and day, and I'm being advised to watch out for folks with a almanac under their arm.

2fers: FBIand The Old Farmer's Almanac

Holiday thoughts again...

What if god gave you a chance to let him know how you wanted to die? I can see it happening something like this. First you get this e-mail:

From: god@heaven.com
Subj: death notice

Yo - dude. As part of new good feeling deity service, we are now giving you a
choice of your death. Not more than 14 days from now, or less than 21 days
from you're going to be history. The obituary will be starring yours truly. You
can either take what we're going to give you, or for the mere price of ten (10)
days, you can let us know just what kind of death you want.

cheers,
The god bunch

[ You have gotten this e-mail since you opted in from one of our other services.
Should you desire not to receive any more of these messages, don't worry, you
won't be around long enough to complain :-D ]

Would this be cool or what? Instead of slipping in your bath some morning and being found by the paramedics a couple of days later all bloated with your rubber ducky gently floating against your thigh and dead of a broken neck you could go out with real style.

As I was driving home down the freeway tonight, I came up with a great way. I'd be humming along in my bug listening to Fiona Ritchie on Thistle & Shamrock. A 4 kilo iron meteorite would come blasting into the roof, through my head, and buries its heated little body in my gas tank. As my car bounces uncontrollably off the pavement, it crashes into a fuel storage tank half full of high octane avgas which ignites after the meteorite sets my gas tank on fire. The resulting conflagration engulfs 5 more storage tanks and burns for the next week. Weeee!

Would that be cool or what?

2fers:Thistle & Shamrock and ID a meteor

Ho, ho, ho -- rats!

I just got back from a 4 hour road trip home for a sort of pre-xmas Christmas. My brother and I and my parents exchanged some gifts and went out for dinner. It was pretty low-key and mellow for once. My dad just got out of the hospital a few days ago, so we kept it pretty slow and easy.

This morning we went to a local restaurant for breakfast. The place is pretty good, if a bit smoky. Around here they haven't gotten to no-smoking restaurants yet. Technically, there's a no smoking section, but with so many others smoking, it's hard to tell. I had a waffle and some hashbrowns that was pretty good. At least the waffle was made there and not some reconstituted frozen thing.

What was a hassle though is that my brother had his coat ripped off. Some low-life left his raggedy-ass coat behind and took my brother's woolen trench coat. He'd left his car keys in them, so those were gone as well. There was a local (this is a town of 2000 by the way) cop there and didn't think it was stolen. First he said my brother left it at the table, which he didn't and then he said he left it out in the car, which he didn't. The cop wouldn't believe that someone would steal a coat on Sunday morning just after church! He said half the cars out there even had bibles on the seats. And that wasn't said with an Andy Sipowitz satiric tone either. I think he actually believed it. Most of the customers on Sunday morning as either just before or after going to mass.

The other excuse given was that whoever took it, probably took it by mistake. How the hell do you mistake an expensive woolen black coat with green scarf and gloves with some raggedy-ass cotton coat with a black scarf and no gloves.

It wasn't the value of the coat so much that was a problem is that he got it from a very close friend who died a year ago. It was one of the last things he had to remind him of a very good friend. I hope the dirty rat that stole it chokes on a communion host and sets himself on fire from a votive candle.

Luckily I had my car keys in my coat (at it hadn't been ripped off - the advantage of having no taste in fashion). The cop gave me a ride back to my parents house where I got in my car and got an extra key for their house, went in and got their big old Ford to go back and pick them up. My brother and I hung around the restaurant for another couple of hours hoping the nitwit would return with the coat and keys, but no luck. Good thing my brother had an extra set of keys for the rental.

2fers: New Buffalo Police and Historical military clothing

Heres a quote from an article in the Toronto Star, written by Lynda Hurst:

"Unlike soldiers captured in Iraq, the Taliban fighters and suspected Al Qaeda terrorists held incommunicado in Cuba are not deemed by the U.S. to be official prisoners of war, thereby protected by the 1949 Geneva Convention.

Harkening back to World War II, Washington categorizes them as "enemy combatants" and, in its view, how they are treated is not covered by international law."

There's been talk about the Vietnamization of the Iraq war and the inhuman qualities of war in general and how the terrorists have decided to ignore the so-called rules of war. Reading the above actually brought to mind another war and another of life’s atrocities. I thought of Japan and its treatment of allied prisoners of World War 2 and also of Vietnam’s treatment of their prisoners. They both used the same justification that we are using in Cuba.

The Japanese thought that anyone who surrendered was no longer a human and no longer required treatment that one would normally apply to humans. This gave them full justification to treat the prisoners in anyway they deemed fit. The Vietnamese did the same with the POWs they captured. After all, the US never officially declared war on Vietnam, so how could the prisoners they captured possibly be Geneva protected “prisoners of war?”

We shouldn’t allow ourselves to copy the lowest denominator of human behavior. Once we crawl down to the level of the very people we are trying to distance ourselves from, the distance is gone. We are supposed to be a country whose ideal is the protection of human rights. This isn’t done by tossing those human rights out the window. Or in this case, outside our borders. Using some legal technicality to keep them in limbo just isn’t right. If there is a case against them, prosecute the case and them. If there isn’t a case let them go. If they are in fact enemy combatants, then they should be executed. They shouldn’t just be tucked away on an island whose leader our country is accusing of human rights violations and have their rights violated.

2fers: Toronto Star and Geneva Convention

Ho - Ho - fiddlesticks....

Am I the only one who really hates the Christmas holiday season? It's the beginning of December so I'm starting my holiday depression. What I would love to do is go to sleep around December 4 and not get up until January 2. The crowds, the hassles, worrying about gifts, the traveling in the snow. Add to that my parents get all hyper and crazy and it just makes for a miserable time of the year. That's about it for now.