Land of Oz

The other day, there was an column in the newspaper about yet another guy who can't handle the assembly issues of Xmas morning. He complained about items with no batteries, the wrong batteries and how hard it was to install a battery. He complained about bad instructions, no instructions, and instructions that can't be understood. He complained about the tools needed that he didn't have or those that he did have weren't correct. And then he complained about the actual assembly of the junk. How it was so difficult to get stuff to work the way it was supposed to and then end up with something that looked like it was supposed to.

And then of course there was the packaging complaints. Too much packaging, too little packaging and of since there were kids involved, how those same kids would rather play with the packaging that with the actual gift. And this year's special complaint is about those plastic bubble packages that are crush resistant, tearproof, bulletproof, and protect a $5 gizmo that will be out of date next week better than an art museum protects a Picasso. (OK, I'll bitch about those packages too - but buy a set of bandage scissors from the dollar store - the kind with the bend in them - they work very well).

And then of course he tops it off with the age-old complaint of luddites everywhere, that his VCR (probably Betamax) is still blinking 12:00.

See, the problem is I enjoy putting this stuff together. I love getting a teeny-little one foot square package from Ikea and two hours later having a wall-size entertainment center in the house. I happily plop myself on the floor and immerse myself in the mounds of bubble-wrap, foam padding and a multitude of little plastic bags full of screws, bolts, and odd-shaped pieces of hardware. Actually using the end product is almost a let down. Hey, spend $50 or so and get some basic tools and read the instructions - yes, I know it's almost heretical as a guy to say that, but reading the instructions will save time in the end.

And clocks? In my house they all read the same (set to my radio-synched master clock), they aren't set 10 minutes fast, and they don't blink!