Land of Oz

Then and Now

Your $165 television isn't working.
Then:
1. Look up phone number on pad next to phone
2. Pick up the phone
3. Dial 278W2 (this used to be my phone number)
4. Ask the person who answers when can they come out to fix your TV
5. They show up, fix the TV and charge you $25

Now:
1. Pick up the phone
  1.1. Flip open the case
  1.2. Press 4 buttons to find number
  1.3. Press button to dial number
  1.4. Get charged extra for "Roaming" outside of your area plus assorted city, state, federal taxes and fees.

2. Computer answers phone. You:
  2.1. Answer "Yes" for English
  2.2. Answer "Television"
  2.3. Computer doesn't understand
  2.4. Answer "Customer service"
  2.5. Computer doesn't understand
  2.6. Answer "Help"
  2.7. Computer doesn't understand and switches you to another menu
  2.8. Computer describes 9 choices
  2.9. You press number 9 for more
  2.10. Computer describes 9 more choices
  2.11. You don't hear what you need so you press number 0
  2.12. Computer doesn't understand and switches you to another menu
  2.13. You finally find a choice for "Customer Service Representative
  2.14. You get to listen to 25 minutes of Kenny G interspersed with commercials
  2.15. When a representative finally answers they tell you it will cost you $30 for shipping, $40 for troubleshooting, and there's a $100 minimum service and parts charge

3. You throw TV away and buy a new one for $400