Land of Oz

Huh?

Loss of hearing is an interesting handicap. There's nothing there to signal to others that there's a problem. I have hearing loss and tinnitus (ringing in my ears). Tinnitus means that 24/7 there's a hiss that I hear. Sometimes it's loud and very noticeable, and other times it's not so loud and fades into the background.

People get pissed off at those who can't hear a lot. If I'm not looking at you, there's a pretty good chance, that I won't understand what you just said, and there's a fair chance I won't even notice. I have people who get upset with me all the time because they think I'm ignoring them - I'm not, I just don't hear them. When the background noise is high, it's even worse. Most of the time, I really have no idea what a waiter or waitress is saying to me. They come up to the table and say mumble, mumble, mumble and I'll say yes or no depending on what I think they want. But I really don't know what they want. I have to look at you and really concentrate to understand what you say.

I think my hearing problem also, paradoxically, makes me more sensitive to noise as well. If there is some stereo or music in the background it drives me crazy. I think what happens, is that while I can hear very low-level sound, I can't pick any content out of it. So while the stereo from two doors down is very irritating - I can't tell what you're saying to me while we're standing next to each other.

So before you get all pissed off at someone you think is ignoring you, give some thought to the fact that they just may not hear you. They aren't trying to get you mad at them, by making you repeat something - it's just that they can't hear you. If you're a gentle speaker, you're going to have problems. We just can't hear you. And if you talk to the back of my head - I probably have no idea that you're trying to tell me something.

So don't get pissed, just realize there are those who can't hear as well as you. We aren't missing limbs, we don't have a white ear-horn and don't have a handicapped sticker on our car - we just can't hear.

2fers: American Tinnitus Organization and American Academy of Otolaryngology