Monday, June 28, 2004
Fifth Commandment
Have you ever wondered why? It's not like you have a choice of who your mom and dad are is it? I mean let's face it, they are the ones to blame for bringing you into the world. Nobody asked you if you wanted to be born.
They are the ones who bring you into this world and they are the ones who start you out on the path you end up on. I don't think it's possible to break away from where they start you. I suppose in some cases, you can turn out OK no matter what you're upbringing is, but I think it's the exception rather than the rule.
People don't seem to understand that just because you weren't physically beaten or abused it doesn't mean you're childhood was OK. There's all different kinds of upbringing. I don't know if everything can be tied to your parents training - or lack of it, but why should you honor someone who brings into a lifetime of misery.
It's pretty strange, I've never been hungry or lacked for a place to sleep but as far as I can remember (and I can't really remember that much) life has sucked. I have virtually no friends to speak of that I can trace back more than a few years. Those few years by the way when I finally lived on my own. I was picked on in grade school and high school and life in general was the pits. Emotionally, I'm practically a cipher. I've never had any connection to anyone.
Honor thy mother and thy father? Why? Surely it's not to thank them for the last miserable 50 years. My life sure won't be a "It's a Wonderful Life" screenplay. It's not like I have gone out of my way to help others. I couldn't empathize with someone if my life depended on it.
However, after all the above, I will admit I've finally met a girl who I can relate to. I'm happier with her than anyone I've ever met in my life. Maybe part of the attraction is that she is as far apart from my parents as could practially be. For the first time in my life I'm actually thinking about someone other than me. I'm hoping to soon have a wife. And as much as I care for her, I have no desire to bring any kids into the world and fuck them up as much as I'm fucked up.
2fers: 10 Commandments and Autism
