Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Codgerdom
I've officially hit codgerdom. Here's just a few of the many things happening to this old guy in the last few days to prove it:
Clothes
This weekend I picked up a pair of pants on sale at the local grocery store for $15.95 and actually like them. In my defense, they are Dickies bluejeans, but still; from a grocery store?
Internet
Both google and yahoo have changed their home page to a new and improved version that I hate. Google just pushed it without a hint. Bam - new and crappy page full of text. What happened to minimalist google? At least yahoo let me know it was coming and allowed me to keep my old version. This week the old was gone and I'm stuck with the new. Why do things that work well have to attempt to become new and improved; What's wrong with old and good?
Driving
I'm now one of those hunched over the wheel drivers doing just at or under the speed limit, droning along in the right hand lane, complaining about speeders and cell phone users passing me. And if you're the lady who passed me last week yakking on your cell phone with one hand and gesturing at the caller with your other, will you shut up and put at least one hand on the steering wheel?
The Fourth
I actually looked forward to a nice, peaceful and quiet Fourth of July. And I actually got it. Our neighborhood was abnormally quiet over the Fourth. I doubt I heard twenty illegal fireworks go off for the whole weekend - unlike the warzone I last lived in.
Music
Not only don't I recognize the music on award shows any more, I don't even recognize the artists any more. And the music I used to drive my parents crazy with? It's now elevator music.
Video
I mention Pong or Asteroids to the guys at work and no one knows what I'm talking about. I have no desire to watch TV on a 2 inch screen. I can remember fiddling with the horizontal and vertical hold knobs trying to get my picture to settle down.
Communications
Don't bother calling me on your cell phone to ask if I've read the email you sent ten minutes ago. I'm so old I may not check my email for a day or more. And all I want a cell phone to do, is phone. I don't need pictures, MP3s, cameras, silly-ass ring tones or designer colors. Why can't I just get a cell phone that has clear sound and is easy to dial?
Clothes
Yep - me too. Sorry about that, but I really think wearing your pants down around your knees like they are full of poop and need emptying is pretty stupid. I have no idea if it's gang related or not, but it sure looks dumb.
Body Modification
See above. If you want to stick holes in yourself and fill them full of bits of metal, plastic and bone, fine. But don't expect to serve me dinner with a stud in your mouth. I'll go elsewhere - and I have. If you want to talk to me with a ballbearing in your tongue, you'd better be ready for me to spend more time staring at tongue than listening to your message. Same with tats. You may think a blue flower on your butt is sexy, but I think it looks stupid now and in twenty years, it'll look like a wrinkled old weed or worse. Narrow-minded? Probably, but that's the way it goes.
